Freshmeat Roller Derby gear: My miseducation and subsequent demystification

I'm a really impulsive person, and though close to danger as it takes me, none is more dangerous than anything I approach with my keycard. Impulse purchaser extraordinaire am I, driven by impatience and blissful ignorance. Then I had step children. Money is tighter than a nuns @#/%. The beauty of this is I learnt how to be an expert researcher of purchases. (all credit to my partner). I stopped buying things before checking every possible avenue, brand, price, shipping cost and forum for clues. It's kinda workin' I think.. When I started thinking seriously about derby, I began scouring online stores for clues as to what to buy. Given I'm in Australia, most things are cheaper online so I sorted site after site, comparing blogs and forum advice with prices and packs. I became obsessed. How do i get the best skate for the lowest price? What protective gear do I need? What brands are going to last me? 

I figured out I'd need this at a start: 

Derby Skates (no shit!)
Helmet
Elbow pads
Wrist pads
Knee pads
Toe guard (to stop you from ripping your skates)

For me, I knew I would be skating daily at the basketball courts near my house so I'd need outdoor wheels and bearings and a skate tool.. I've since read you can use a socket set to take your wheels off, so I'll try that before I buy a tool.

Basically, I learned for someone with a family the $500-$600 or so dollars is a massive commitment, that's our monthly food budget!

I learned that good pads were a necessity, knee gaskets might be good for me because of my size (and dodgy knees, cheers dad). After all the comparing of US skate stores I eventually found a freshmeat pack on derbyskates.com.au that had all the right stuff in the right places. Suregrip rebel invaders with 187 pads and came with a helmet, gaskets, mouthguard, and toe protectors.

I also tried calling and emailing skate stores in AU to find out about basic outdoor wheels, and beginner skates. No one could give me a solid answer, I needed to speak to someone! 

Fortunately, I hung back after my first skate class and queried the tattooed goddess about my dilemma. She said, contrary to what I'd read online; big girls don't have to have aluminium plates, the nylon plates are just as strong and will break eventually no matter what. That dropped my starting price by about 100.00! My biggest miseducation though was working on the premise that I needed the best quality skates I could afford, when in all reality I was going to fall a whole bunch and fuck them up regardless of what price I paid. 

Also I have private health cover so can get a mouthguard through my dentist. Sweet deal.

The rink had a skate store in-house and when I told the lady what I was going to pay she offered to quote me on a pack. On the advice of the skaters there I went with a cheap skate (crazy skates vx) and the best pads because:

1. I won't understand what I'll want in a skate until I figure out how they work on my feet (and how not to kill myself on them)
2. I'm going to get familiar with the floor, so I'll need the best cushions I can get

My original freshie pack was $550.00 without even getting to the outdoor wheels and bearings. The rink mama quoted me $391.00!! Plus cheap outdoor wheels which will be about $70.00 and bearings at about $50.00. BAM. A saving of at least a hundred bucks :)

The moral of this story is: you read everything you can find online, check all the forums and blogs, read all the reviews and as per usual the best advice is found out when you find someone who knows their shit.

Nothing both brutal and amazing ever happened to a benchwarmer

So the only time I’ve ever skated, I was about 8 years old and went with vacation care. I don’t think I’ve ever tried and failed so hard at anything since. The next day, I felt agony like I’d never felt before. I remember coming out of my room screaming and unable to lower my arms. It seemed all the grabs for the railing left my arms shredded. My mother laughed of course, as I’d never had sore muscles before and was positive I was dying.

21 years later, I’ve made a not-so-secret pact with myself that I will, at all costs, be a Derby girl. So last Saturday my friend (who also intends to learn) and step-daughter headed out to our first ‘Star Class’ at the local rink. $8 entry, $3 skates, couldn’t go wrong!

That was, until we entered what looked like a swarming village of small children. Tiny people all around going extremely fast, and I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t sink a little. I somehow thought adults still tried to be cool? Seemingly not, judging by the coffee-swilling packs of mothers seated all around. I felt SO uncool. What adults were there, were speeding past at break-neck speed. I strapped on my skates, and then the thought occurred to me. How the fuck am I going to stand up in these? My friend who swore she “couldn’t skate” miraculously seemed to speed merrily away, leaving me at the bench, wondering how to get to the rail without making a complete arse of myself.

Well, nothing both brutal and amazing ever happened to a benchwarmer so I psyched myself up to ignore everyone and stand on my own 8 wheels. UP! Now. TO THE RAIL! Gingerly, doesn’t even come close to how I approached the next hour of rail holding and trying to remain upright on these disastershoes. After a short burst of confidence, I’d realise I was going too fast with no bail plan and grab desperately for the railing leaving my legs and wheels to continue after me. Then, I slowly made my way out onto the rink. (Yes I was skating outside the rink). What I found was not only was I having the time of my life, I was drenched in sweat; not so much from physical exertion (it’s impossible when you’re travelling that slow) but from CONCENTRATING! My mind was on fire, I was more focussed than I’ve been in years! I dared myself a new dare every time I went round don’t grab for the rail at all this lap, bend your knees and skate faster, try and snow plow stop. I headed out at the end of the session high as a metal kite, but not without sneaking a lustful glance at the derby skates on the shelf begging to be mine.

My friend and I were hooked, we had to knowlearnsmash derby. I’d told myself, if I showed any signs of being able to skate, that would be it, I’d join roller derby. I passed my own test :)

My biggest concerns about derby, not as much the injuries, but my weight. I’m 100kg’s at the moment, not exactly the ideal weight for impact sports (or anything for that matter, except cuddling). I’ve been lucky in my build as I’m also 6ft, so I don’t look like the weight I am. Well, not entirely. I’m doing this to play team sport because I LOVE and MISS it, to get fit in a way that is more sustainable than the boredom and jerks I hate at the gym, and because well, I’m part islander which means I’m physically destined for contact sport. But mostly because I’m in awe of the girls who do it, and wonder if they’d ever be my friend being so fiercely divine as they are. I’ve watched everything I can on youtube and read all the stuffnthings and forums and reviews and its decided!

And so here I am, writing a blog about it, perhaps because I’ve read a few of the derby blogs and realised that my big girl experience that might be of use to other women who want to smash their way to physical freedom. Because derby already made me feel more comfortable with my body, and I haven’t even played yet!

Tryouts in 2 months, buying my skates on the 15^th May and then.......SKATE EVERY DAY UNTIL I CANT MOVE!